That's how much music there is on my Ipod right now. I'm shocked...and amused because I know all my music isn't on there yet.
I'm feeling sick and I've got a lot on my mind so this post is going to be bullet points. Or that's what I think now. We'll see what happens.
November fourth is right around the corner. I've already voted. Despite the pessimist in me, I want to believe my vote and others will count. That we don't have a repeat of last elections fiasco.
Halloween was...a long night. I learned a valuable lesson. Several in fact.
Speaking of lessons learned, I think I've a bad habit of falling hard for someone and then somewhere along the line, dropping them like undies on prom night. I've been talking to someone the last few days and well...it's gotten to the point where I actually have to think of something to say. I don't think it's my fault or his. Maybe the chemistry isn't exactly right. It sucks, because this was something that made me so happy in the beginning and now I just feel disappointment. But maybe I'm subconsciously sabotaging this. God knows, it wouldn't be the first time. He's a good guy; smart, funny, into music, all that good stuff. Maybe he's too close to what I'm looking for. Maybe what I'm suffering from is a touch of committment-itis. Or maybe I'm overthinking everything as usual. Hah.
I think I'm going to "tough it out". I'm not a complete idiot; the guy has to have something going for him if I liked him so much 2 weeks ago. And anyway, it'll be good for me to be relationship minded a while longer. I think I've been having waaaay too much fun being independent, er, single.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Revolutionist I.
I'm going to bold the ones I agree with.
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 18 - Water Carrier
Archetype: The revolutionist. You are the one who your friend's parents' warned them about. You are always looking for a creative, unique way to do things. You tend to bring about unpredictable change and there is never a dull moment when you are around.
Stone: Turquoise: The name comes from the French "turquoise", which means " Turkey " as in the original localities in Iran . Since before 4000 BC it has been used and coveted. It can be pure in color or may contain secondary minerals. If the matrix forms a pattern of interlocking polygons it is called "spider-web" turquoise.
Ruling Planet: Uranus:Uranus represents a revolution, rebellion, electrifying energy, sudden changes, independence and the freedom to experience the new. As such, it symbolizes the destruction of the old, the brushing aside of experience and tradition. Therefore, Uranus stands for originality, reforms, advanced technology and revolutionary processes. The influence of Uranus can symbolize change in our lives, which can provide for new freedoms, as well as unique experiences and purpose.
In mythology, Uranus was a god in the sky and the father of Saturn, whom he created with Gaea, the goddess of Earth. A third of the children she gave birth to were ugly monsters. In hatred of these monsters Kronos/Saturn unmanned his father and freed the band of Uranides, enabling them to appear in the real world. Uranus seems to originate and create out of nothing.
Defining Symbol: Water Carrier: This symbol represents the Gods nourishing the earth with life giving energies. One of the first to be called the water bearer was the Greek God Zeus in mythology.
Health Problems: Aquarius governs the legs from the knees to the ankles as well as blood circulations. You may have problems with the knees and ankles such as cramping, spasms, and nervous complaints. There is large emphasis for you on your heart so it is important to take extra good care by eating right and exercising.
You are likely drawn to holistic medicine and alternative health practises. Dance and aerobics are great forms of exercise for you. You also enjoy swimming or any type of individual sport over a large team sport.
About Aquarians: Aquarians have strong and attractive personalities. You fall into two principle types: one is shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of your character under a cloak of playfulness. Both types are strong willed and forceful in different ways and have strong convictions, though as you seek truth above all things, you are usually honest enough to change your opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades you that you are wrong. You have vision that brings diverse factors into a whole and can see both sides of an argument without trying to decide which side to take. You are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because you can see the validity of an argument, even if you do not accept it yourself. You believe in being open to truth, from whatever source it comes, and are prepared to learn from everyone.
Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, refined, and idealistic with a sensible practicality. You are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive and express yourself with reason, moderation and sometimes a dry humor. You are almost always intelligent, concise, clear, and logical. You may be strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive. You may need to retire from the world at times and become a temporary loner. You appreciate opportunities for meditation. Even in company you are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. You dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on your own terms. Normally you have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.
Among the faults, you can be fanatically eccentric, egotistic, excessively detached, and extremely rigid in your opinions. You can be a threat or a great benefit for humanity in general. You may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness, or a threatening silence is also characteristic. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into distrust toward the whole of mankind.
Love and Friendship: In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality, and your desire to help humanity, you do not make friends easily. You sometimes appear condescending to others and not bother getting to know people who do not appeal to you. You do not give of yourself easily - perhaps your judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes perceived as cold. Once you decide that someone is worthy of friendship or love, you can exert almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will become a stubborn friend or lover, ready to sacrifice everything for your partner and be faithful to them for life. However, you are sometimes disappointed emotionally because your own high personal ideals cause you to demand more than is reasonable. If you are deceived you anger is terrible and if disappointed you do not forgive.
Career: Aquarians works best in group projects, provided that you are recognized as having a leading part in them. You have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes you admirable scientists. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.
You need to be able to work independently without any restrictions on how you get the job done. You don't appreciate interference from others and would prefer not to be disturbed when you get working - that is, if you can stop chatting with everyone in the office. You prefer work that is challenging and that provides some mental stimulation.
Aquarius Cosmic Strengths
• Logical
• Inventive
• Altruistic
• Rebellious
• Persistent
• Friendly
• Honest
• Loyal
• Independent
• Humanity
• Intuition
Aquarius Cosmic Weaknesses
• Unpredictable
• Rigid
• Unreliable
• Eccentric
• Unemotional
• Detached
Aquarius Jan 21-Feb 18 - Water Carrier
Archetype: The revolutionist. You are the one who your friend's parents' warned them about. You are always looking for a creative, unique way to do things. You tend to bring about unpredictable change and there is never a dull moment when you are around.
Stone: Turquoise: The name comes from the French "turquoise", which means " Turkey " as in the original localities in Iran . Since before 4000 BC it has been used and coveted. It can be pure in color or may contain secondary minerals. If the matrix forms a pattern of interlocking polygons it is called "spider-web" turquoise.
Ruling Planet: Uranus:Uranus represents a revolution, rebellion, electrifying energy, sudden changes, independence and the freedom to experience the new. As such, it symbolizes the destruction of the old, the brushing aside of experience and tradition. Therefore, Uranus stands for originality, reforms, advanced technology and revolutionary processes. The influence of Uranus can symbolize change in our lives, which can provide for new freedoms, as well as unique experiences and purpose.
In mythology, Uranus was a god in the sky and the father of Saturn, whom he created with Gaea, the goddess of Earth. A third of the children she gave birth to were ugly monsters. In hatred of these monsters Kronos/Saturn unmanned his father and freed the band of Uranides, enabling them to appear in the real world. Uranus seems to originate and create out of nothing.
Defining Symbol: Water Carrier: This symbol represents the Gods nourishing the earth with life giving energies. One of the first to be called the water bearer was the Greek God Zeus in mythology.
Health Problems: Aquarius governs the legs from the knees to the ankles as well as blood circulations. You may have problems with the knees and ankles such as cramping, spasms, and nervous complaints. There is large emphasis for you on your heart so it is important to take extra good care by eating right and exercising.
You are likely drawn to holistic medicine and alternative health practises. Dance and aerobics are great forms of exercise for you. You also enjoy swimming or any type of individual sport over a large team sport.
About Aquarians: Aquarians have strong and attractive personalities. You fall into two principle types: one is shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of your character under a cloak of playfulness. Both types are strong willed and forceful in different ways and have strong convictions, though as you seek truth above all things, you are usually honest enough to change your opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades you that you are wrong. You have vision that brings diverse factors into a whole and can see both sides of an argument without trying to decide which side to take. You are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because you can see the validity of an argument, even if you do not accept it yourself. You believe in being open to truth, from whatever source it comes, and are prepared to learn from everyone.
Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, refined, and idealistic with a sensible practicality. You are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive and express yourself with reason, moderation and sometimes a dry humor. You are almost always intelligent, concise, clear, and logical. You may be strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive. You may need to retire from the world at times and become a temporary loner. You appreciate opportunities for meditation. Even in company you are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. You dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on your own terms. Normally you have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.
Among the faults, you can be fanatically eccentric, egotistic, excessively detached, and extremely rigid in your opinions. You can be a threat or a great benefit for humanity in general. You may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness, or a threatening silence is also characteristic. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into distrust toward the whole of mankind.
Love and Friendship: In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality, and your desire to help humanity, you do not make friends easily. You sometimes appear condescending to others and not bother getting to know people who do not appeal to you. You do not give of yourself easily - perhaps your judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes perceived as cold. Once you decide that someone is worthy of friendship or love, you can exert almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will become a stubborn friend or lover, ready to sacrifice everything for your partner and be faithful to them for life. However, you are sometimes disappointed emotionally because your own high personal ideals cause you to demand more than is reasonable. If you are deceived you anger is terrible and if disappointed you do not forgive.
Career: Aquarians works best in group projects, provided that you are recognized as having a leading part in them. You have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes you admirable scientists. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.
You need to be able to work independently without any restrictions on how you get the job done. You don't appreciate interference from others and would prefer not to be disturbed when you get working - that is, if you can stop chatting with everyone in the office. You prefer work that is challenging and that provides some mental stimulation.
Aquarius Cosmic Strengths
• Logical
• Inventive
• Altruistic
• Rebellious
• Persistent
• Friendly
• Honest
• Loyal
• Independent
• Humanity
• Intuition
Aquarius Cosmic Weaknesses
• Unpredictable
• Rigid
• Unreliable
• Eccentric
• Unemotional
• Detached
Monday, October 27, 2008
♥ ♥ ♥
It's been a long time coming. But I think it's time for me to get back in the saddle.
Hmm. I wonder if this is in any way like riding a bicylce...?
Hmm. I wonder if this is in any way like riding a bicylce...?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tricks and Treats.
In November, I plan on getting my first tattoo.
This is a huge deal for me. I made my design in less than a day and I'm happy with it. If I ever change my mind (which I very seriously doubt is ever possible) it's going to be in a place where I can't really get tired of seeing it and where it won't get me into trouble when it comes time to applying for real jobs. Which unfortunately, kills my original desire to get my tattoo on my left wrist or the back of my neck =( Instead I chose to get it on my lower back (I'm thinking less pain back there anyway) and then I remembered a little something that I'd like to reference using Wikipedia:
I won't lie; I like the idea of it being a California License Plate. But a tramp stamp!?! Come on; that's so hardly ever me, LOL.
Here's where I got my inspiration:
Once I actually get it done, I'll post pics here =)
This is a huge deal for me. I made my design in less than a day and I'm happy with it. If I ever change my mind (which I very seriously doubt is ever possible) it's going to be in a place where I can't really get tired of seeing it and where it won't get me into trouble when it comes time to applying for real jobs. Which unfortunately, kills my original desire to get my tattoo on my left wrist or the back of my neck =( Instead I chose to get it on my lower back (I'm thinking less pain back there anyway) and then I remembered a little something that I'd like to reference using Wikipedia:
Beginning in the late 1990s the lower back tattoo became popular, especially among young women. Lower back tattoos are often oblong in shape, following the slope of the back on either side of the woman's spine. The lower back tattoo is body decoration, sometimes intended to emphasize sexual attractiveness. Generally, a lower back tattoo will be designed to emphasize the shape and curvature of the female figure.
While such tattoos have become popular in recent years, in many parts of the world, they are sometimes derided as suggestive of promiscuity or as associated with Raunch Culture.[1] In the United States, they have been pejoratively referred to as "tramp stamps", "California license plates", or "bullseye,"[2] and in Australia as "arse antlers".[3]
I won't lie; I like the idea of it being a California License Plate. But a tramp stamp!?! Come on; that's so hardly ever me, LOL.
Here's where I got my inspiration:
Once I actually get it done, I'll post pics here =)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I'm tired...
of being the one who picks up the slack. When's my turn to talk all day on the phone while everyone else gets all the work done? Why can't I get paid to talk to my boyfriend at work? Why can't I fix my schedule so that I only close the nights I prefer to close?
I'm so over this. Correction. I'm so over everything.
Right now, I'm at the vanishing point of no return (Yeah, I know: way to mix my literary/pop culture references). There was a moment today when I looked up from a stack of emails from my boss' boss, looked my boss dead in the eye, smiled and said "I fucking can't take this any more" or that's what I was thinking anyway. I didn't wind up saying anything but I can see it happening one day. It took years for my old job to do this to me. Guess I'm losing my ability to tolerate bullshit as I get older. To quote Sunlight Gardener, "Can I get an Amen?" heh. I'm not looking forward to the drama, but I know I'll enjoy the actual quitting part.
*~*End of transmission*
I'm so over this. Correction. I'm so over everything.
Right now, I'm at the vanishing point of no return (Yeah, I know: way to mix my literary/pop culture references). There was a moment today when I looked up from a stack of emails from my boss' boss, looked my boss dead in the eye, smiled and said "I fucking can't take this any more" or that's what I was thinking anyway. I didn't wind up saying anything but I can see it happening one day. It took years for my old job to do this to me. Guess I'm losing my ability to tolerate bullshit as I get older. To quote Sunlight Gardener, "Can I get an Amen?" heh. I'm not looking forward to the drama, but I know I'll enjoy the actual quitting part.
*~*End of transmission*
Operation Mindfuck: 2.0
As if one ex in the city wasn't bad enough. I ran into the first (the Original) one today. I'm not sure what I even felt other than surprise and that "oh God, please don't stop and talk to me, maybe if I smile vaguely in your direction without really making eye contact you won't recognize the girl you dated for 4+ years" Hah. Talk about awkward. And then (stupid me) I made the mistake of telling my family who was with me, whih only made my mom call out in a loud voice, "Who? Where's your ex? 'Jo-Bob*!?" As Stephen King would say, "Fuck a duck". The man upstairs has got one twisted sense of humor. Hah.
*~*Claire over and Out*~*
*name has obviously been changed to protect the anything but innocent unworthy sonuvabitch.
*~*Claire over and Out*~*
*name has obviously been changed to protect the anything but innocent unworthy sonuvabitch.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Ten to One
Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people:
1. As blase as I may act when we cross paths, a part of me dies every time I see you.
2. Call me Baby one more time and I will kick your ass.
3. I just won the lottery, so f*ck this place and f*ck you.
4. I think I'm sorry I didn't turn out the way you wanted...sometimes anyway.
5. You just love to hear yourself talk, don't you?
6. Lie down with dogs and of course you're going to get up with fleas.
7. I'm flattered...but you're realllly not my type.
8. I'm here whenever you need me.
9. Let's move out of this dump and start a new life together!
10. I think I'm in love with you.
Nine things about me:
1. I'm contrary.
2. I am sarcastic pretty much all of the time
3. I live for music
4. When bored, I'll affect an accent (usually English, though sometimes Australian or German).
5. I'm a fast reader.
6. I plan on learning at least three more languages in my lifetime (ASL, French, and Japanese)
7. I'm spontaneous
8. I'm a brilliant housekeeper and baker
9. I hate when people buy CDs or DVDs and leave pieces of the sticky plastic on them. One of my odd pet peeves
Eight things to win my heart:
1. Make me laugh.
2. Make me think.
3. Be a humanitarian.
4. Kiss me in the rain. I'll never admit it, but I like that cheesy stuff every once in a while.
5. Know when and how to really listen. Sometimes what I'm really trying to say is stubborn coming out and will get hidden beneath bluster and bullsh*t.
6. Get over yourself. I tend to poke fun at those I care about and if you can't take harmless ribbing in the manner it's intended, good day to you.
7. Make me always want to reach higher. I know some people enter a relationship with ambitions but slow them down at the request of their partner. I can tell you now, I'll never be happy resting on my laurels and I'll probably resent the man that ever put me in that position.
8. Love the eccentricities of my family. Yes, they're all raving maniacs but I'm stuck with them. I'm not saying you can't laugh at them (God knows I do) just tolerate them. Five thousand bonus points if you manage to get in my mom's good graces.
Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. I got to get out of this backwoods town...
2. Traffic sucks.
3. One of these days, that lamp is going to succeed in electrocuting me to death.
4. The Smashing pumpkins are pretty f*ckin' awesome.
5. There's way too much crap on TV
6. I love Stephen Colbert + John Stewart
7. I really should apply somewhere else where my talents could be better appreciated.
Six things you do before you fall asleep:
1. Mentally make a list of what I need to do the next day
2. If working or going out, I visualize what I'm going to wear the next day
3. Read or write
4. Set my crappy alarm.
5. Throw the covers off of the bed. I can't sleep if I get too hot.
6. Shower, brush my teeth, etc
Five people who mean a lot:
1. Mom
2. Grandparents
3. Brother
4. Sister
5. Cheryl
Four things you're wearing right now:
1. a blue sports bra
2. three earrings
3. a pair of my super comfy gym shorts
4. Old loose T-shirt for sleeping
Three songs you listen to often:
Hard to pick *just* three but here're the songs of now:
1. "Hate This & I'll Love You" by Muse
2. "Zero" by The Smashing Pumpkins
3. "Wreckless Love" by Alicia Keys
Two things you want to do before you die:
1. Tour Europe and South America
2. Be deliriously happy!
One confession:
1. I hate myself for thinking it, but sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to never be able to stay in a relationship because maybe I sabotage myself while I'm in one or possibly because I put myself in relationships that I know will fall apart...
1. As blase as I may act when we cross paths, a part of me dies every time I see you.
2. Call me Baby one more time and I will kick your ass.
3. I just won the lottery, so f*ck this place and f*ck you.
4. I think I'm sorry I didn't turn out the way you wanted...sometimes anyway.
5. You just love to hear yourself talk, don't you?
6. Lie down with dogs and of course you're going to get up with fleas.
7. I'm flattered...but you're realllly not my type.
8. I'm here whenever you need me.
9. Let's move out of this dump and start a new life together!
10. I think I'm in love with you.
Nine things about me:
1. I'm contrary.
2. I am sarcastic pretty much all of the time
3. I live for music
4. When bored, I'll affect an accent (usually English, though sometimes Australian or German).
5. I'm a fast reader.
6. I plan on learning at least three more languages in my lifetime (ASL, French, and Japanese)
7. I'm spontaneous
8. I'm a brilliant housekeeper and baker
9. I hate when people buy CDs or DVDs and leave pieces of the sticky plastic on them. One of my odd pet peeves
Eight things to win my heart:
1. Make me laugh.
2. Make me think.
3. Be a humanitarian.
4. Kiss me in the rain. I'll never admit it, but I like that cheesy stuff every once in a while.
5. Know when and how to really listen. Sometimes what I'm really trying to say is stubborn coming out and will get hidden beneath bluster and bullsh*t.
6. Get over yourself. I tend to poke fun at those I care about and if you can't take harmless ribbing in the manner it's intended, good day to you.
7. Make me always want to reach higher. I know some people enter a relationship with ambitions but slow them down at the request of their partner. I can tell you now, I'll never be happy resting on my laurels and I'll probably resent the man that ever put me in that position.
8. Love the eccentricities of my family. Yes, they're all raving maniacs but I'm stuck with them. I'm not saying you can't laugh at them (God knows I do) just tolerate them. Five thousand bonus points if you manage to get in my mom's good graces.
Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1. I got to get out of this backwoods town...
2. Traffic sucks.
3. One of these days, that lamp is going to succeed in electrocuting me to death.
4. The Smashing pumpkins are pretty f*ckin' awesome.
5. There's way too much crap on TV
6. I love Stephen Colbert + John Stewart
7. I really should apply somewhere else where my talents could be better appreciated.
Six things you do before you fall asleep:
1. Mentally make a list of what I need to do the next day
2. If working or going out, I visualize what I'm going to wear the next day
3. Read or write
4. Set my crappy alarm.
5. Throw the covers off of the bed. I can't sleep if I get too hot.
6. Shower, brush my teeth, etc
Five people who mean a lot:
1. Mom
2. Grandparents
3. Brother
4. Sister
5. Cheryl
Four things you're wearing right now:
1. a blue sports bra
2. three earrings
3. a pair of my super comfy gym shorts
4. Old loose T-shirt for sleeping
Three songs you listen to often:
Hard to pick *just* three but here're the songs of now:
1. "Hate This & I'll Love You" by Muse
2. "Zero" by The Smashing Pumpkins
3. "Wreckless Love" by Alicia Keys
Two things you want to do before you die:
1. Tour Europe and South America
2. Be deliriously happy!
One confession:
1. I hate myself for thinking it, but sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to never be able to stay in a relationship because maybe I sabotage myself while I'm in one or possibly because I put myself in relationships that I know will fall apart...
Operation Mindfuck.
Each and every night for the past 2 weeks, I dream of one of two things:
1. Work. Dear God, the horror. As if it's not bad enough I'm there 6 days a week 9 hours a frickin' day.
2. The ex. Me and him together as if nothing ever happened. It's maddening. In last night's dream, I was pregnant. I have no words for hard these have been.
I think I'm being punished for something in the most horrible of ways.
1. Work. Dear God, the horror. As if it's not bad enough I'm there 6 days a week 9 hours a frickin' day.
2. The ex. Me and him together as if nothing ever happened. It's maddening. In last night's dream, I was pregnant. I have no words for hard these have been.
I think I'm being punished for something in the most horrible of ways.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Updates
I haven't been on this thing in a while. How's everyone? Well I hope. Better than I'm feeling right now at least. I've got a cold/sore throat/migraine thing going on that I hope is allergy related because I reallllly don't want to go to the doctor. Blech.
So what's been going on the past month or so? Well, on this side of everything, not much; mostly work. I went to a really huge music festival in the capital and had a blast and a half (I'm going to have to post more aboout that on a day where just thinking about USB cords doesn't make my eyebrow twitch, hah).
I had the most detailed dream about running into the ex while grocery shoppping with my little brother and sister. I'm croched down getting eggs and I look up and there he is with a sheepish smile on my face. It was one of those "this could be how things were now, if you would let him talk to you and apologize" but I don't want to go there with him.
Right?
Right?
Right.
Funny thing is, I woke up at the end of the dream feeling so content. Definitely my brain's way of saying "What if?" and I really don't appreciate it. It's not like it's going to work though, because I've learned my lesson by now. I won't let myself go through this again with him, or anyone else.
Right?
Right?
God I really truly hope so.
*end of transmission*
So what's been going on the past month or so? Well, on this side of everything, not much; mostly work. I went to a really huge music festival in the capital and had a blast and a half (I'm going to have to post more aboout that on a day where just thinking about USB cords doesn't make my eyebrow twitch, hah).
I had the most detailed dream about running into the ex while grocery shoppping with my little brother and sister. I'm croched down getting eggs and I look up and there he is with a sheepish smile on my face. It was one of those "this could be how things were now, if you would let him talk to you and apologize" but I don't want to go there with him.
Right?
Right?
Right.
Funny thing is, I woke up at the end of the dream feeling so content. Definitely my brain's way of saying "What if?" and I really don't appreciate it. It's not like it's going to work though, because I've learned my lesson by now. I won't let myself go through this again with him, or anyone else.
Right?
Right?
God I really truly hope so.
*end of transmission*
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