♥☆♠☼ℓ€Ñ

Things have become sane at long last. Well...that's not exactly true. I'm just more able to deal with them now, lol. Life is still of the suck nature but I'm dealing. Things got really crazy shit storm nuts and then they got crazy good. I'm not mentioning all of the good things because I'm afraid I'm going to jinx them.

Here's a glimpse of one of those: Remember Joe? No? He's the guy I posted about around this time last year (November actually) that I fell in like with. Forgot? I'll give you a minute to look that up. I posted about him about 3x. Don't worry, I'll wait.

...

*whistles*

...

Back? Okay, good, you're all caught up. Now, Joe and I decided to be friends back then and that's exactly what we've been to each other for the last year. He's been going through a rough patch also lately, and like I would any friend, when I talked to him about a week ago, I offered to be there for him if he needed emotional support. He didn't respond right away to that, which was fine (heck, I'm the same way; when I'm going through shizz, I tend to internalize it all until I explode so to speak) I just gave him his space.

Okay, so then, yesterday, I get a call from him saying he got through everything all right (which I was glad to hear) and that he can't stop thinking about me (which blew my mind). Whoah^infinite!! So yeah, my life just got a little more complicated.

Annnd, lastly, on a not so good note, I'm going to be spending time in the hospital pretty soon for a rather straight forward surgical procedure. Normally I wouldn't say anything until afterward (if at all), but since there is with every surgery the possibility of death, I thought I'd post this here just in case. As soon as I get out and feeling halfway decent, I'll post something here. If you want to text me the day of,...I think I'd actually appreciate it since I anticipate being scared shitless. Prayers and well wishes are okay too.

*~*Claire out*~*

Finally.

Tentative date- November 24th; which is over a month from now. We'll see if they manage to keep the momentum going or if they wind up screwing the pooch again. I'm also going to have to see if I can get the okay from my job for the time off. If they say no, well, I'll just have to quit...which wouldn't be the end of the world.

Tortura

I hate insurance companies. I've called those sonsofguns at least half a dozen times in the last week and I'm still getting the runaround. Oh. My. GOD. I'm so frustrated.

It's been hard to juggle everything but I've somehow been pulling it off with only minimal sacrifices. I still FB b/c the people who check on me daily are there. Anything/everything/anyone else has been pushed to the wayside until I get my shit together...whenever that winds up being.

DNR = Do Not Read.

Friday is the day I'll find out if I'm going to need surgery or not and if so, if my insurance will cover it.

I am not in any mood to elaborate and I didn't even really want to post this in case someone that knows me winds up stumbling across it but I'm writing this for me because I feel like being a selfish bitch right now. I'm pissed off, tired, and scared shitless and no I don't want to talk about it because it's only going to make me feel more like shit.

Life =/= fair.

[/bitching]

i don't care.

I've decided not to care about the following things:

* people who don't give a rat's about me
* giving that extra 120% at my crap job
* so-called "friends"
* doing anything for the unappreciative

It's going to be hard and it may upset a few people but I think it's high time I stopped investing myself in shit that does nothing at all beneficial for myself; not because I'm selfish but because I'm taking on too much. This shit is only making me sicker and I'm done.

Sayonara to the bullshit, mendicants, and sycophants.