Whew! I can't believe classes start tomorrow! Man has time flown by....
On Sunday I went to the Green Day concert in San Antonio...AFTER I finished moving into my apartment an hour away. So by the end of that day, I was exhausted! But happy.
The day started off with me getting about two hours of sleep because I procrastinated and decided I wasn't going to get my packing out of the way until the last minute. My brother rode with me and my sister went with my father in the truck. We got there, found my apartment (my roommate, Evanscent, wasn't there yet) and started dragging all of my junk up the stairs. Blah, blah, blah, we bought groceries, blah, blah, and then my family left. My roommate showed up and we started unpacking.
Okay let's fast forward to five. I left for San Antonio with my digital camera and a disposable, but I decided to leave my cameraphone at home (mostly because it's not turned on right now). The drive there wasn't all bad...but my left eye was seriously rejecting my contact so I was winking pretty much all the way there, LOL. I got to downtown San Antonio but ended up at the Alamodome instead of the SBC Center (where they hold concerts and Spurs games). It was fricking boiling that day and the humidity was through the roof my friends. So I'm starting to feel a bit anxious that I'm going to make it late to the concert. I park my car in a parking lot because I spot a poster with the bus schedule on it and a map and I stop to check it because I know that one of the bus' stops is at the SBC center. A cab pulls up and I ask him for directions. He offers to take me but my car's in a reserved parking lot so I tell him I have to move it. He tells me that he'll show me where to go so I pay him to lead me. Once I get there, I realize I have no money for parking but this nice guy waves me through anyway.
It's nearly seven by then so I'm rushing myself and still winking from that stupid contact. I get to the gate and the lady patting us down tells us we're not allowed to bring cameras...so I have to walk all the way back to my car (which is parked in a horrible spot, BTW) all the way there, I'm cursing myself for not bringing my cell phone or a different purse that I could have hidden my camera in anyway. I get back and she lets me in.
Blah blah blah. Okay the concert starts off with Jimmy Eat World. They're okay...I only liked two of their songs but I was mostly just waiting for Green Day to come on. Around eight o'clock, Jimmy and friends leave and someone in a bunny costume comes onstage. It's a really cute bunny...it wanders on the stage and starts drinking. He falls once coming down the runway thing and starts shaking everyone's hands...I look at his height and find myself wondering..."Could that be Billie!?" He leaves after throwing candy and stuff into the audience. A few minutes later Green Day shows up!
Let me start off by saying that Billie Joe is just chock full of stage presence. He's a fucking genius when it comes to performing in concert. I'm serious. The whole crowd was locked on his every gesture. If he clapped, everyone was clapping, if he was pumping his fist in the air, we all were.
They played several songs from their new CD (I love how in Holiday, he changed "The Representative from California has the floor" to "The former governor of Texas" LOL) including American Idiot, Wake Me Up When September Ends, Jesus of Suburbia, Holiday, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Nobody Likes You, and St. Jimmy. THey also played Maria, Brain Stew, Minority, Good Riddance (Time of Your Life), She, King for a Day, and a couple of songs I have never heard before. Twas an excellent musical experience.
Here's the best part. In between songs, Billie would have us repeat after him. So he'd go "Heeeyyyy-ooo" and we'd all go "Heeeyyyy-ooo" or something. During one of these sessions, he had us go "Ooh-ahh" or something, and then he started moaning and groaning like he was having sex for a good long while (long enough for my mind to fill with dirty images of me and a hot and sweaty Billie...) and he ended by saying "Sombody fuck me!" I don't think I even need to come out and say how loud I volunteered at that point, LOL.
Then there was a part when he took people from the audience and had them play the band's instruments. I'm so jealous of whoever it was that got his guitar. Grr. Anyway, here's the second best part. I didn't have general admission tickets (those are the "seats" where you stand right next to the stage) but I was still pretty close...Needless to say, I'm one happy bunny *grins*. If Green Day was having another show here in Texas, I would be there in a hot second and I'd pay almost any price (within reason...I'm a poor college student for crying out loud) to get stageside seats.
And that concludes my Green Day adventure. Hopefully I will have more!!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Thanks to the full moon...
Last week, on the night of the full moon, I had this really awesomely bizzare dream that I jotted down the minute I woke up...
It started off with me walking onto a set where a music video was being shot. There is a small group (no more than fifteen) of what looks like professional dancers (all girls about my age or older) standing around conversing amongst themselves and they don't look too thrilled about my being there.
I smile at everyone and say, "hello" mostly to be polite. I get a few responses, but for the most part, I'm ignored. That doesn't bother me because I'm really excited about this video because the featured artists is one of my all time favorite people. Yep, it was The Billy Corgan.
He walks onto the set and all the dancers perk up and surge forward to introduce themselves. I hang back from everyone else in a moment of shyness until everyone looks to me waiting for me to speak up. I'm so star struck that the only words I manage to get out (in a rush at that) are: "Wow. Billy, it's a real honor. I love you and everything you've ever done." Billy kind of smiles and gives me a look that seems to say, "oh, I see. You're one of those people."
It's about then that I start feeling like a complete idiot, so I decide to keep my mouth shut for as long as possible. Everyone goes back to chatting until the director arrives and informs us it's time to get to work after telling us how privileged we are to be granted the honor of appearing in Billy's newest video (which, he explains is going to be a shorty love story with a bit of dance thrown in).
The girls are really excited about possibly being the woman that Billy falls for in the video and start chatting amongst themselves again until the director quiets them down. He turns to me and says something like, "we can get started filming once I figure out how you got here."
Everyone turns to stare and I'm starting to feel a little angry that I've been singled out until Billy speaks up and suggest that I show them why I was chosen. I smile and nod, grateful for his help.
The director flips a switch and suddenly Disarm is playing. For a moment I hesitate...and in that moment, it's almost like time slowed down for me. I see all of the girls watching me intently, the expressions on their faces clearly stating their dislike of me, I see the director who appears to be be bored, but at the same time it seems as though he too is hoping I fuck up. And then I see Billy sitting to the side away from everyone, leaning slightly forward in his seat, a look of curiousity and expectation on his face. And it's then I tell myself to forget about mechanics and just dance what the music has always made me feel.
I don't remember the dance, but I remember finishing and looking past the stunned girls and the equally surprised looking director to find Billy standing and smiling as he walks toward me and tells me I'm going to be the "leading lady" in the production.
I feel my eyes fill with tears and I squeak out, "Really!?" and he just nods and laughs as he gives me one of those one armed hugs.
More happened here...lines being practiced, rehearsals, choreography, blah, blah, blah. But I can't remember any of the details.
So one night, I'm alone at the studio, practicing in front of the mirrors and the next thing I know, Billy's there. We don't talk much other than to say hello; he just stands there watching me for a while (I can see him in the mirror) so I keep on practicing. After a while though, I start to feel self-conscious so I turn to face him, a sheepish expression on my face as I ask him what's going on.
Billy didn't say anything for a moment, and then he said, "Come on. Run with me." I didn't even think twice as I followed him out the doors and into a forest by the light of the full moon. In this moment, I felt incredibly free and alive.
Finally, we both start to get tired so we stop to rest on a ledge overlooking the city with the moon beaming down on us in all of its haunting beauty. We don't talk, we just sit and enjoy the view and each others' presence for a while. And then...
I woke up. What a downer, LOL.
It started off with me walking onto a set where a music video was being shot. There is a small group (no more than fifteen) of what looks like professional dancers (all girls about my age or older) standing around conversing amongst themselves and they don't look too thrilled about my being there.
I smile at everyone and say, "hello" mostly to be polite. I get a few responses, but for the most part, I'm ignored. That doesn't bother me because I'm really excited about this video because the featured artists is one of my all time favorite people. Yep, it was The Billy Corgan.
He walks onto the set and all the dancers perk up and surge forward to introduce themselves. I hang back from everyone else in a moment of shyness until everyone looks to me waiting for me to speak up. I'm so star struck that the only words I manage to get out (in a rush at that) are: "Wow. Billy, it's a real honor. I love you and everything you've ever done." Billy kind of smiles and gives me a look that seems to say, "oh, I see. You're one of those people."
It's about then that I start feeling like a complete idiot, so I decide to keep my mouth shut for as long as possible. Everyone goes back to chatting until the director arrives and informs us it's time to get to work after telling us how privileged we are to be granted the honor of appearing in Billy's newest video (which, he explains is going to be a shorty love story with a bit of dance thrown in).
The girls are really excited about possibly being the woman that Billy falls for in the video and start chatting amongst themselves again until the director quiets them down. He turns to me and says something like, "we can get started filming once I figure out how you got here."
Everyone turns to stare and I'm starting to feel a little angry that I've been singled out until Billy speaks up and suggest that I show them why I was chosen. I smile and nod, grateful for his help.
The director flips a switch and suddenly Disarm is playing. For a moment I hesitate...and in that moment, it's almost like time slowed down for me. I see all of the girls watching me intently, the expressions on their faces clearly stating their dislike of me, I see the director who appears to be be bored, but at the same time it seems as though he too is hoping I fuck up. And then I see Billy sitting to the side away from everyone, leaning slightly forward in his seat, a look of curiousity and expectation on his face. And it's then I tell myself to forget about mechanics and just dance what the music has always made me feel.
I don't remember the dance, but I remember finishing and looking past the stunned girls and the equally surprised looking director to find Billy standing and smiling as he walks toward me and tells me I'm going to be the "leading lady" in the production.
I feel my eyes fill with tears and I squeak out, "Really!?" and he just nods and laughs as he gives me one of those one armed hugs.
More happened here...lines being practiced, rehearsals, choreography, blah, blah, blah. But I can't remember any of the details.
So one night, I'm alone at the studio, practicing in front of the mirrors and the next thing I know, Billy's there. We don't talk much other than to say hello; he just stands there watching me for a while (I can see him in the mirror) so I keep on practicing. After a while though, I start to feel self-conscious so I turn to face him, a sheepish expression on my face as I ask him what's going on.
Billy didn't say anything for a moment, and then he said, "Come on. Run with me." I didn't even think twice as I followed him out the doors and into a forest by the light of the full moon. In this moment, I felt incredibly free and alive.
Finally, we both start to get tired so we stop to rest on a ledge overlooking the city with the moon beaming down on us in all of its haunting beauty. We don't talk, we just sit and enjoy the view and each others' presence for a while. And then...
I woke up. What a downer, LOL.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
August 2nd
I'm spread really thin right now. Maybe it's what I deserve for taking on so much. I've already had to drop a couple of things...mainly my RPGing. I can't think creatively when I'm this tired, so the idea of me writing a post for an involved universe is laughable. I can barely remember how to spell my own name. And now that I'm finally going to the school that I want, my parents are on me more than ever: "what are you going to do with your life? Are you still graudatuing early with honors? Blah, blah blah". I'm so sick of it. They bitch to me about tearing the family apart. Bull fucking shit. This family hasn't been a unit since I was in elementary school, and really, not even then.
I'm glad I'm moving out. I'm an independent person, a free spirit if you will, and I hate living with my parents where I have no space and no privacy but plenty of bullshit restrictions.
Whatever. I'm done ranting about that. It turns out I'm not as far ahead with my school work as I thought. Some of the classes I took at other universities are not going to be accepted for credit at my new school...so technically I'm a fucking sophomore until the end of this semester. I need five more hours to be considered a junior and I'm taking fifteen hours, so that'll have me 10 hours ahead. The following semester, I'll just have to take 20 hours if I can...maybe I'll just do fifteen again and then during the summer, I'll take another fifteen.Then I'll be 10 hours into my senior year. I think....heh, math ain't my strong point. Surprisingly, writing is, but I'm so fucking rusty after all this vegging out I've been doing.
On a different note, I have some friends who I've known since middle school. We're all really close and I'm going to be moving in with them (sorta) in a couple of weeks. One o fmy guy friends said something to me one day that really made me kind of think. He said: "Claire, when I first met you, I knew that I loved you and your personality. But over the years, you've changed. And I love the person you've changed into even more."
I was speechless afterwards, cause when I sat down and thought about it, I couldn't think of how I've really changed, but then I felt all misty eyed (I didn't cry though). I have changed. A lot. I can't really put a finger on how exactly, but I'm not the same person I was 8 years ago...or 3 for that matter. The question in my mind now is: what kind of person have I become? I'm a bitch...I know that. But not always. I'm a lot of things now that I wasn't before. Back then, I was trusting, naive, chipper even *shudders* And now I have the taint of darkness on my heart and my soul (assuming I still have one). And that darkness neither frightens or horrifies me. I find it to be soothing....cause it shows me that I've lived and experienced things.
I've lived. For some reason, that's all I want now. To feel alive. That desire is behind all the stupid shit I do...like driving 110 on the freeway, or drinking myself into oblivion, even playing in the rain. I feel day to day like I'm numbly, mindlessly going on day by day waiting for something, anything to happen so for a minute, I can feel something.
I'm glad I'm moving out. I'm an independent person, a free spirit if you will, and I hate living with my parents where I have no space and no privacy but plenty of bullshit restrictions.
Whatever. I'm done ranting about that. It turns out I'm not as far ahead with my school work as I thought. Some of the classes I took at other universities are not going to be accepted for credit at my new school...so technically I'm a fucking sophomore until the end of this semester. I need five more hours to be considered a junior and I'm taking fifteen hours, so that'll have me 10 hours ahead. The following semester, I'll just have to take 20 hours if I can...maybe I'll just do fifteen again and then during the summer, I'll take another fifteen.Then I'll be 10 hours into my senior year. I think....heh, math ain't my strong point. Surprisingly, writing is, but I'm so fucking rusty after all this vegging out I've been doing.
On a different note, I have some friends who I've known since middle school. We're all really close and I'm going to be moving in with them (sorta) in a couple of weeks. One o fmy guy friends said something to me one day that really made me kind of think. He said: "Claire, when I first met you, I knew that I loved you and your personality. But over the years, you've changed. And I love the person you've changed into even more."
I was speechless afterwards, cause when I sat down and thought about it, I couldn't think of how I've really changed, but then I felt all misty eyed (I didn't cry though). I have changed. A lot. I can't really put a finger on how exactly, but I'm not the same person I was 8 years ago...or 3 for that matter. The question in my mind now is: what kind of person have I become? I'm a bitch...I know that. But not always. I'm a lot of things now that I wasn't before. Back then, I was trusting, naive, chipper even *shudders* And now I have the taint of darkness on my heart and my soul (assuming I still have one). And that darkness neither frightens or horrifies me. I find it to be soothing....cause it shows me that I've lived and experienced things.
I've lived. For some reason, that's all I want now. To feel alive. That desire is behind all the stupid shit I do...like driving 110 on the freeway, or drinking myself into oblivion, even playing in the rain. I feel day to day like I'm numbly, mindlessly going on day by day waiting for something, anything to happen so for a minute, I can feel something.
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